Dark Side of the Dating Pool

Does your brain ever feel like this…
I can only speak for myself but it couldn’t be more accurate!! I actually made my way around this brain two and a half times before I realized I had already read through those bullet points.  Its no wonder self-care is stressed for social workers everywhere!   As a social worker with a brain similar to the one above I am constantly thinking about others and how I serve them.

  • Feeling guilt when a friend or family member has a problem
  • Compelled to fix my friend’s or families’ feelings
  • Trying to anticipate the needs of those most dear to me       

and honestly…

  • Wondering if anyone will ever do the same for me…

Okay so this sounds a little codependent I admit but…I believe they are the root of what makes a social worker or clinician skilled at empathizing and building rapport.

I used to think I was the greatest catch because I had the ability to empathize, love and sacrifice for a partner.  In some ways I wasn’t wrong but…I did not factor in the darker side of the dating pool.  A side I thought social work also gave me an edge on because of my background on personality disorders and at risk behavior…It didn’t!  social work & dating

I was in a relationship with a narcissist.  It felt real, beautiful, perfect…like I met my soul mate.  In the following series, The Dark Side of the Dating Pool, I want to share what I have found regarding

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2 Comments

  1. Such a great topic that social workers never write about. Very curious to hear your thoughts and experiences. I was just thinking about this today as I had yet another conversation with a guy who had been extremely lazy in his pursuit of me. I wondered if I expect too much from men but then decided I only expect the same effort that I would give to a partner….which (as a social worker) is a lot. Then I wondered if men like that actually exist or if all people in “giving” professions are just doomed to be the ones putting in most of the work….sigh.

    1. Thanks for reading! We social workers are certainly the giving type, settling is something I would never condone. I’ve learned its important to make ourselves happy first, the partners that stick around for our happiness are worth keeping around 😉 I hope my future posts on ‘the dark side of the dating pool’ help…good luck!

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